Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Scandal at Etsy: Seller Found to Outsource Modeling Services to Foreign Employees

In these hard economic times, many Americans are out of work and struggling to make ends meet. It is inconceivable then that local jobs would be outsourced to foreign citizens.

I discovered one particular incidence of this as I was browsing through the Turtlefat store run by store mistress Essiewb, and stumbled upon this:


Uh huh. You see the problem. Upon closer inspection you will see that that is a Hunny Pot in the photo. Yes folks, this is Winnie the Pooh, and Winnie the Pooh is a Brit. So basically, Essiewb chose to hire a British model rather than a good American model.

Such as:



or:






or even this character:








Actually I am not sure about this guy. His resume states that he lives in "the Pacific ocean." I need to get clarification from Sponge Bob expert Knitwithcats to make sure he is in fact a "real American."

This is not the only controversy I have discovered with this store. Recently, I was contacted by a representative of the Tortoises United with Turtles Union (Tutu for short) about the slanderous continuation of the myth that turtles are in fact fat. Said the representative, who prefers to remain anonymous "We are not fat! It's all shell!"

I haven't decided yet whether a full scale boycott of the Turtlefat store is in order. This offense is almost unforgivable, especially since she used a common trick of those who hire illegal aliens, to cover her tracks. She hid the offending model among actual American workers--her two children, and a roll of toilet paper. For now, I will settle for a good, harsh, scolding.

And Milosez, I am watching you too. Be warned.



10 comments:

tut-tut said...

Ha! Watch out for turtles; they're stealthy.

knitwithcats said...

turtles are notorious liers! however, are you sure the bear was not - gasp! - made in china?? did the brits out source the bear construction? and where exactly was that toilet paper milled?? i am deeply shocked by the whole thing. you should be write for The Enquirer.

DineometerDeb said...

knitwithcats they were probably all made in China but that is not the point!

Yes, this is very shocking. I sent a text to Essiewb but I think she might have gone into hiding. Probably has photogs camped out in front of her house.

MiloSez said...

Oh, I feel faint...you think you know someone. I will say in her defense, however, that it is nice that the model isn't ashamed of the extra pounds and actually carries food with. I'm just saying.

DineometerDeb said...

Actually Milo, my sources were unable to get confirmation that there is really honey in the hunny pot. Could be gin.

Kiva said...

Please tell me it isn't sew...

essiewb said...

I've been forced to come out of seclusion and make a comment. My models are all dear friends and relatives of mine, and they do not get paid for their work. They have taken no hunny out of the mouths of Americans, and they would be sorely vexed to hear these accusations.

DineometerDeb said...

Hm. So you are saying that you do not pay your workers? Perhaps another expose is needed next week.

tut-tut said...

Sounds like a cover up to me. "Friends" and "relatives"? How many of us can claim Winnie the Pooh as our relative--or even our friend??

DineometerDeb said...

She said friends and "relatives." Maybe Essiewb is related to Winnie the Pooh. Maybe she is also British and also an illegal alien. I know I have never seen her passort.

This scandal just gets bigger and bigger.

As a side note, I have always felt that I was somehow related to eeyore.