Sunday, August 3, 2008

Notes on Google Ads

Apologizing for Inappropriate Google ads:

Google ads are triggered by keywords on my site. This is not an exact science and apparently Google is not using its brightest employees in this particular department. One issue that I have is that if I talk about a certain cuisine from a certain continent on which the Olympics are being held (being careful here not to trigger the ads), Google assumes that my readers would therefore want to purchase a bride from that country and runs an ad showing where one could be found. Surely a company who consistently ranks itself as a perfect 10 on its own rating scale could figure a better filtering system for ads. If one talks about cuisine and ethnic cooking, why show ads that would appeal only to lonely truck drivers looking for a good time?

Another annoying ad is the one by some nut-job that wants to save your immortal soul before the earth explodes in the next few days. I am not sure what I possibly could have written for this ad to be at all appropriate, but maybe I said the word "hell" one time too many. Apparently your soul can be saved by clicking on his ad. Hey! Maybe he could partner with Google and provide an Auto Save button on his site, like Google provides on blogger. Your immortal soul could automatically be saved every few minutes.

I like having Google ads so I don't really want to get rid of them. They add a certain (insert French term here that I cannot spell but it means something like ambiance) to my site. Plus I need the four cents a day that the ads bring in order to purchase porridge for my 10 children. Ok that was a lie. I don't have 10 children.

Click here to read Google's gloating about how great their keyword targeting is. Their technology is so exact, they brag, that if you write a blog post about a cup of java coffee, their system will know that you are not talking about the computer language Java. Maybe this is an alphabetical thing. They have gotten to words related to coffee but haven't gotten around to differentiating between culinary words and people that need a date.

The last time I wrote something disparaging about Google, my blog experienced some technical difficulties. So let me apologize in advance for the problems that my blog will be experiencing and hope that they will be brief.

Unfortunately timed Google ads:

A diabetes testing meter ad ran for a while next to my post on international candy. That's the advertising equivalent of placing ads for bathroom scales in a Wendy's.

My favorite Google Ad:

Decals for your stand mixer from Flameka.com!

I think that Flameka.com's business concept may be somewhat limited however and suggest they try thinking of other cylindrical, vibrating objects they might be able to make decals for. I personally can't think of a single one.













SuperTarget Sponsorship:

Did you all see that I actually had SuperTarget sponsorship via a Google ad for about 2 minutes, sometime last week in the middle of the night? In previous editions of As the Blog World Turns I have openly suggested that they send me money for sponsorship. I, in turn, will blog about unique culinary products that they will be selling. A generic ad running for a few seconds in the middle of the night is a start I guess.

And Most Important of All:

Did you know that everytime you click on an ad, an angel gets his wings? Yeah, it's true. This is especially true for Travel Channel ads. And two drunken angels get their wings if its an Anthony Bourdain No Reservations ad.

21 comments:

tut-tut said...

Do you get some cash if I click on an ad? Because I will click away, if that's the case.

DineometerDeb said...

I do, but I am almost 100% sure that you would not be interested in a date with a Thai woman.

I should have mentioned that I can manually approve all ads, but that sounds like a pain.

L.A. said...

Well, you could block the ads that you don't like from your site so they will (should) never show up again.

I know what you're saying tho, my ads have gotten worse, they've gotten further and further away from what I wanted.

la;-)

DineometerDeb said...

Does anyone know if it is possible to block single ads? I thought the only options were preview each and every one or none at all.

Lea said...

Google rejected me because I have a P.O. Box in my address. If I don't have the P.O. Box number on my mail, I don't get my mail. But they rejected me anyway. After reading your article, which btw made me laugh more than I have in a long time, I'm feeling pretty lucky that Google snubbed me.

SheR. said...

HAhahah!!!
I love this post! I totally agee with you. In the beginning, they used to put ads about Tamil brides for sale on my site (which is a food blog)!!!!
Now there are more relevant ads. But also a lot about losing weight!?

Silly silly!!!

DineometerDeb said...

Thanks guys!

Google is punishing me running those inappropriate ads even more now. ; )

L.A. said...

I thought there was another way, but you could go into "competitive ad filter" and block those urls. It says by using a general url it will block out all the subpages from that domain as well.

Athena said...

Hahaha oh, those crazy google ads. I knew a girl who wrote about warts and had genital herpes medication ads on her site for three days! I often want to put google ads on my site, just for the laugh factor alone. Great post!

Margaret said...

You make a really good point about google ads, it would really be nice if they vetted the content a bit more.

DineometerDeb said...

Thanks l.a. I will look into that.

Hi Athena: I wonder if I talk about Brad Pitt in posts, ads for his latest movies will show up.

Hello Margaret: You'd think they could figure out something better. But, maybe I am the stupid one. Maybe people reading posts on Bulgarian cuisine, really, subconsciously want a date with a Bulgarian woman. Google knows this and thus their advertising targets this population. But I doubt it.

Kiva said...

LOL. It is too true. I use gmail and it cracks me up what I get in response to some emails. My favorite are the ones that come in response to my google calendar daily agenda -- today on my list it says: Hair and Marian's bithday -- the ads are for "Steak & Shake denies the deaf" "Original Wallet Pen" "Save on Karen Kingsberry" (who IS Karen Kingberry?) and "Minutes & Video Software." I tell you. it's like a daily visit to the Improv. (OBTW, the French "word" you are looking for is "je ne sais qua" I had to tell you since it is one of my favorite phrases, but I rarely get to use it :0)

In answer to your comment on my blog -- No, I looked there and every where. But now that I know that the Google gods can get angry...

DineometerDeb said...

Je ne sais qua. Thanks Kiva!

Did you say something disparaging about Google also? Like maybe you said Google is the Wal-Mart of the internet? Did you say that? ; ) I am really pushing my McGoogle luck here, aren't I.

Maybe if you go sacrifice some chocolate to the Google gods your post will return.

confused said...

I have the same problem although not on a continuous basis..

Ash said...

Thanks for visiting my blog and for the comment - though you didnt understand what you posted :-P

Interesting blog. I'll be back!

Lux said...

Once I had to block an ad on my site - for some reason Adsense thought an ad for "Boys with Panties" went well with my blog! (I got more clicks on that ad, though, before it went away.) ;-)

Ash said...

Oh, please dont apologize. It was a fun thing you did. I appreciate your spirit :-)

Rachel S said...

My ads all made sense for a while....then everything got weird. I look at my Google ads now, and I don't know WHERE they're coming up with them sometimes.....

DineometerDeb said...

Thanks for visiting guys.

Seems that I am not the only one having issues with Google Ads. Hopefully, Google reads what bloggers post and will work to improve them in the future.

On a positive note, I haven't seen any of the offending ads for a few days now. Yeah!

Carole said...

I blogged about my favorite candy - called Hot Tamales - and I got a Google Ad for "Pretty Mexican Brides". I feel your pain.

DineometerDeb said...

Carole: HAHAHAHA!